The Blue Ones Match My Eyes

Recently I've started a new batch of meds and then changed again a month into it. I have been high as a kite and then with the change I was brought crashing down. I went from a few hours a sleep a night to having to sleep 13 hours a day just to feel normal. My mood is down and my memory is nonexistent. As is my drive to post or craft. It's not like I'm worried I'll lose blog readers or tumblr followers, I guess I'm just worried that those I love won't be able to handle the constant changes in my mood. They'll get sick of my persistent worries and emotional outbursts. I feel like if I can just wait out for the meds to adjust then I can get better and go back to my old self. And I just hope that I can keep it all together for those who I love.

No Mud No Lotus

Outside of my manic off the top of my head tattoo ideas there are two that I have been mulling over for a bit. The first is the saying "No Mud No Lotus" (Thich Nhat Hanh). This was the first image/saying that emotionally touched me when searching for tattoo ideas. A few years back when I was in a deep depression, on the edge of break down and suicide I had a friend sit me down and tell me that I was a shining star in this world and that the people around me were trying to pull me down into the mud where they lived. This touched me so much that I started to value myself more, not listen to others when they told me how to live my life, and began finding people who were a positive influence. The lotus grows from out of the mud, rising through the waters to make it to the surface pure and untouched by the mud. I look at this and think of what my friend told me years ago. I think of me. I think of what I want to become in life. And I know that you can't have the good, the lotus, without the bad, the mud.

The other tattoo that I want to get to go with this one is the saying "Make. Good. Art." (Neil Gaiman). This particular saying makes me want to push myself and continue creating. It says to me that I have to try harder and just put out art. To not give up and just make good art. I also seem to need a reminder that good work comes with many failures and practice, so I want a reminder on my body not to give in to the voices of doubt in my head and to keep on creating no matter what.

HALLOWEEN IS COMING!!!!!! 49 more days. :)

As you may have already guessed I am a HUGE Halloween fan. Not because of the costumes or candy or even the delicious pumpkin spiced everything, but because of the crafts and the cute creepy little knick knacks the crafts stores have.  Which means I may have emptied my bank account into Hobby Lobby and Michaels. And to top it all off I am still going strong on this productive creative high. Right now I am getting things ready for the Tampa Steampunk Ball on Saturday. I'm not only making things for myself but for any friends that may need some extra spunk. I have an overwhelming amount of tiny hats and super heavy headgear.
Here's the problem:
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by it all, not the actual crafting but the fact that I am having issues with the quality of my work. Is it good enough? Creative enough? Will people actually read my blog? Or consider shelling out dough at my Etsy store? It's enough to put me huddled in the corner rocking back and forth, hyperventilating. Sure my friends are supportive and say that they like my stuff but really?!? That's their job, I could spit on a piece of paper, call it art, and they would say it was wonderful. What would random strangers on the street say? What would the judges of CraftWars say? These are the important people in my life. The faceless throng that will never know my name. AHHH! How can I craft well enough for these people? Maybe I should just douse it all with gasoline and set a match to it. That's seems like a calm rational thing to do.

Bad Decision Time

NOT MY WORK. Found it on deviantart.com but I SoOoOoOoOo want this as a tattoo.
I've been experiencing a great high lately and want to make a rash of bad decisions. This would be one of them, bleaching then oranging up my hair would be another. All I have to do is make it through this without going broke, bald, or permanently marked and I'll be relatively good. Everytime I look at this, however, there is a little ache in me. Adventure Time is my favorite show and I want to be Fiona. Their lackadaisical mathematical attitude fills be with joy and the spirit of a 5 year old on pixie sticks. Plus why wouldn't I want to immortalize a child's show on my body?

In Response to Shady Chic

My argument here today is that jewelry can never be too big. EVER. Even if it makes you fall and break under it's immense weight or can scare pilots mid-flight with it's shine it is never too much. It's just Fabulous. I love what ShadyChic calls "power jewelry" or a refresher of the 80's executive woman. Plus I love anything kitschy which leaves me with some pretty interesting finds and makes. This is what I wore out today:

That's right two large eyes attached to a heavy faux gold cuff. I've already gotten a few compliments on this piece and what's more fun is that I can be a creep and make the eyes stare at someone. Like I did this morning in my psychiatrists office. The man across the room was twitching and giving nervous glances my way the entire time I was there. Of course, we were in a head doc's office so he could have just been a loon to begin with.

I made this bracelet on my manic craft bender the other night. Along with a lot more stuff. What the doc failed to mention on our last date was that because I'm on new meds which keep me from hitting the super lows that I may experience so new tweaking highs. At first I was worried but did you see how much I got done? And that's not all I did, I started a blog, an etsy shop, watched a movie, cleaned, made a mess, did laundry, tried yoga (twice), spent a pile of money, recreated my life plan, and hang with Shady Chic. I mean beyond the fidgetyness, frantic heartbeating, and inability to sleep who wouldn't love this! So much crafting to do so many things to do and see.Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

ETSY SHOP OPENED!!!! Gimme yo' money!

 Exciting news!!! Well at least for me, after much hemming and hawing I finally started up my Etsy shop (etsy.com/shop/HGPennyCrafts)! For now I only have two items for sell but it's a start in the right direction. And hopefully it'll pick up and I can make room for new crafting ventures. Because it's not like I live under a ton of Halloween crafting elements at the moment or have a million and SEVEN ideas on what to do next. 

Nuff said.

Other previous works

Past Paper Crafts

Love Note

A friend of mine introduced me to the wonderful world of paper crafting. And I have been cursing her name ever since. I find it very soothing but at the same time super detailed stressful and paper is a bit expensive. But I just can't say no to a good craft. This card was made for my wonderful Sweetie, who has to put up with getting crafted gifts, never seeing the sweet shine of a store bought item. I'll be putting up other examples of my cards in a bit but I wanted to show a before and after shot of the card. I started out with a simple pen sketch of what I wanted then carefully cut it out to make a template. After that I cut out the colored paper and glued it all together without gluing myself to the card or table. This card's style was based off of the artist Mucha, who was an Art Nouveau painter. He also happens to be one of my boyfriend's favorite artist *brag*. I wanted to go into more detail but I have clumsy fingers and the patience of a 5 year old. I think what this card really needed was a massive amount of glitter. Topped with more glitter.